Stuff Mommies Do: Volume 8

Blame public schools for our children's loss of innocence.

Stuff Mommies Do: Volume 7

I usually sing Simone a song right after her bath during her bedtime routine. One oldy-but-goody that she doesn't seem to mind singing over and over again is the Itsy Bitsy Spider song. Well, tonight after her bath, she decided she wanted no part of my version of the song. Instead, she sang her own rendition of the popular nursery rhyme. Here is her mashup:

The itsy bitsy diaper

crawled up the water spout

down came the rain and

washed the diaper out

out came the sun and

dried up all the rain and

the itsy bitsy diaper

crawled up the spout again.

Certainly, her "mondegreens" was completely incidental, but may have been warranted. The word diaper does sort-of rhyme with spider, and I did ask her to bring me a diaper just before we sang the song. But, I am sure you can see how her version of the song may have had an immediate relevance at the time.

Stuff Mommies Do Volume 7:

Use context clues to deduce when to change the baby's diaper.

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Stuff Mommies Do: Volume 6

Belabor the point as evidence by excessive utterances of dreaded phrases like:

What do I always say..?

How many times do I have to tell you...?

Do I have to repeat myself?

Didn't I already tell you...?

and my personal favorite

If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times...

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Stuff Mommies Do: Volume 5

Neglect meaningful relationships with their pedicurists.

(Photo by Teddy Sincire)

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Stuff Mommies Do: Volume 4

Believe unequivocally that the world revolves around their children, because their Facebook status updates certainly do.

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Stuff Mommies Do: Volume 3

Painstakingly coach their children in church not to out mommy and daddy's arguments via prayer request, during Sunday School.

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Stuff Mommies Do: Volume 2

Unwittingly disregard the "Press and Lock" feature on the box of Reynolds Wrap.

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