Sunday, March 04, 2012

Day Four: Gratitude

Better late then never.

Today the prompt is gratitude. I am eternally grateful for the gift of growing with my children.

After my mom abandoned me (there is something so uncomfortably permanent about writing that word), I naturally doubted my own maternal instincts. This fear was rooted in a belief that I was a mirror reflection of her. I thought I would fail as a mother, because she failed. I thought my fate was inextricably intertwined with her choices. I thought I would repeat the same cycle of abandonment in my own life. These thoughts imprisoned me.

Freedom came the day I claimed my own individuality. I am not the sum total of my mother's choices.

I am imperfectly human.

When I look at this picture, I see remnants of my own imperfections. These small reflections show up in a smirk or a smile. A mannerism or temperament. On the other hand, when I look at this picture I see individuals. I see unique personalities; people who will ultimately make their own choices in life.

I am grateful to be there for those choices. I am grateful to share every emotional outburst, impatient meltdown, peaceful compromise, and loving embrace, because I live in the immediacy of these moments.

There is something wonderfully abiding in these rich experiences, and I am grateful to share in the full breadth of the human experience with them.

3 comments:

Hevel Cohen said...

Oh my, your children are so beautiful!

Being a parent is such a learning experience. My parenting mentality was always doing the exact opposite of my parents' actions, and so far it has worked, simply because I don't want to faily my kids the ay my parents failed me.

Diane Davis said...

love this one. your kids are amazing. truly amazing.

Holly from 300 Pounds Down said...

Wow. Thank you for sharing this. You're an awesome mom

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