Two weeks ago marked the end of a long struggle with childcare. Being a working mom, my children are really vulnerable when it comes to finding a provider who really cares. Unfortunately, the last few months have been a lesson in navigating the storms of inadequate daycare (to say the least). Fortunately, the storm is over now and our children will be moving on to something more nurturing.
It seems unreal, but Sadia will be starting Kindergarten in the fall. We've experienced a barrage of documentation, updating records, and testing for her placement. I am both anxious and excited for my soon-to-be Kindergartener. On the one hand, Sadia has overcome so many hurdles from her previous experience in daycare. She has endured prejudice, mistreatment and only God knows what else, but she has become a stronger and more resilient kid as a result. I have high hopes for what her school years will bring: perhaps a fresh start with more skilled and loving people who genuinely care for her and embrace her differences. On the other hand, there is still a part of me that worries. I realize that I cannot raise my children in a bubble, but what I can do is raise them to love in the face of hatred. I want them to learn to champion injustice with audacity and emerge from it unscathed. Enrolling in a new school will be an opportunity for elasticity.
Simone too has seen her fair share of set-backs. Last month she was diagnosed with Eustachian Tube Disfunction, a condition in the ears which causes her to hear as though she is underwater. When I learned of her diagnosis, my heart sunk. As a parent, it is amazing just how much of my children's regular body functions I take for granted. Thankfully, the complication with her ears will correct itself as she matures, but in the meantime in between time, she will struggle. Since her diagnosis, we've been back and forth from this specialist to that, from audiologist to speech therapist trying to equip Simone with the skills to weather this storm. With each appointment comes probes and prods from this instrument and that, and she is growing increasingly more an more agitated. Clearly, she too is being dealt her own measure of toughness.
Teddy and I are still taking it all in. Trying to process it all has proven to be quite the undertaking. Although, I am sure of one thing. Never have I experienced anything more challenging than being responsible for these two precious little souls that God has gifted to us. And so, for me and my three, this summer will be a time to pour. When Sadia reacts to bias with bitterness, I will pour into her patience and tenderness. When Simone grows agitated with her own shortcomings, I will pour into her tolerance and acceptance. I will pour into them until I cannot pour anymore and when my cup becomes empty, I will seek the Lord's bounty and continue poised to pour some more.