Do you remember Peter Parker's conclusion about his Spidey senses from the movie "Spider-Man", "This is my gift, my curse."?
Yeah.., well.., that quote sounds really magnanimous when it's coming from a superhero in an ergonomic leotard, and on the big screen.
Enter The Gift...
When I got pregnant, my body obviously evolved. However, one modification that caught me off guard, was my heightened sense of smell.
I inherited a solid set of sleuthing skills. Now, like a bloodhound, I can pick up a scent wafting through the air from over a mile away. For all practical purposes, this gift is most useful when determining whether produce has exceeded it's shelf life, sniffing out soured leftovers, and detecting curdled milk. After all, the unconscious choice to sacrifice self for the good of my children is by divine design, right? That is until, those rare moments when the gift backfires--literally.
I inherited a solid set of sleuthing skills. Now, like a bloodhound, I can pick up a scent wafting through the air from over a mile away. For all practical purposes, this gift is most useful when determining whether produce has exceeded it's shelf life, sniffing out soured leftovers, and detecting curdled milk. After all, the unconscious choice to sacrifice self for the good of my children is by divine design, right? That is until, those rare moments when the gift backfires--literally.
Enter The Curse...
You know, when people pass gas, they carry the foul baggage with them. The rancid dust lingers in the air behind them at least 20 or so paces. Leaving the grocery store this evening I found myself sinus deep in some guy's vapor trail. It wasn't pleasant, so I'll spare you the details. Suffice it to say that The Mystery Pooter was more skilled at passing gas than a Nascar pit crew.
You know, when people pass gas, they carry the foul baggage with them. The rancid dust lingers in the air behind them at least 20 or so paces. Leaving the grocery store this evening I found myself sinus deep in some guy's vapor trail. It wasn't pleasant, so I'll spare you the details. Suffice it to say that The Mystery Pooter was more skilled at passing gas than a Nascar pit crew.
***Probably more than you cared to know about me, but you were warned.
3 comments:
I was at Disneyland the other day and someone in line was making the "Finding Nemo" ride waaayyy harder to wait through. Same experience...everyone had gave accusing looks wondering who this mystery smeller was. I almost called it quits and went to the Tiki room:)
LOL!!! That's a good document.
Hi,
I've enjoyed reading your blog. You have a very sharp sense of humor.
I could really use some hair help for my toddler. She's Asia/AA and her hair is very curly but fine and soft. It keeps getting tangled at night when she sleeps. It's long enough to put in bands, but they break so easily.
Any suggestions? I've been using Luster's Pink Lotion and today I tried E.V. Olive Oil. Should I trim those ratty ends in the back or can the be repaired with moisturizer?
Katie
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